Try COMFORT SEX
“Having sex stimulates the release of endorphins, which give you a feeling of euphoria,” says sex therapist Dr Marelize Swart. These feel-good hormones activate pleasure centres in the brain that create feelings of intimacy and relaxation. This is sex in its slowest, most intimate form, says Swart – and it’s highly underrated. “Begin by asking him for a massage, then set the scene by feeding each other strawberries or grapes,” suggests Swart. This isn’t about satiating your wild lust, it’s about connecting with each other skin-to-skin without worrying too much about the outcome. You want to create as much body contact as possible, so stick to the missionary position. Direct him to the places you most enjoy having touched, suggests Steenekamp, or ask him to rub his whole body over yours. Keep each movement slow, suggests Joburg-based sensualist Jonti Searll. “One full stroke of penetration should last one deep breath in, and the out stroke one deep exhale.” Engage in some deep eye-gazing and look at his face as he orgasms. You might want to lie in each other’s arms for a while afterwards.
The upside: “Comfort sex can remind you of all the reasons why you are together,” says Swart. It’s all about good emotional contact, trust and connectedness. “You’ll also experience emotional growth by allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner,” Steenekamp adds.
The danger: If you engage in this type of sex too often, your guy might start to see it as too much one-sided hard work. Also beware of comfort sex with an ex, which can keep you from actively seeking a new partner, Swart cautions.
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