Tips On Keeping the Coach/Child Athlete Relationship a Healthy One

The allegations of child sexual abuse against a former Penn State assistant football coach have stoked fears in many parents, as our colleagues at the WSJ’s The Juggle blog have written.

As the Juggle writes: “This case and others involving once trusted authorities? clergymen, Scout leaders, teachers and coaches — highlight a perennial parenting issue: how to tread that fine line between protective and overprotective, between being fearful and mistrusting of others while letting kids do enriching activities and teaching them to trust.”

When it comes to coaches and athletes, there are some simple rules of thumb to follow to make sure the relationship is a healthy one and kids and teens are protected, says Max Trenerry, an associate professor of psychology and consultant in clinical neuropsychology at the Mayo Clinic. (Trenerry isn’t speaking specifically about the Penn State situation.)

First, “we need to make sure that coaches and athletes aren’t left alone together,” says Trenerry, who is also a coach for his local soccer club and a sports psychology consultant for the Olympic Development Program in his region.

That may sound harsh to those of us who grew up in a more innocent time, but Trenerry says it’s essential. That means if an athlete is the first to be dropped off at the field, rink, court or gym, the parent waits until there’s another adult there, he says. That could be an assistant coach or a parent, he says.

Organizations should also ease parents’ concerns by conducting criminal background checks on “anyone having anything to do with athletes,” he says.

It’s also important to “maintain appropriate coach/athlete boundaries,” he says. Singling out athletes for special gifts — a no-no. Overnights in a coach’s home — definitely verboten. And coaches should generally avoid situations that put them in an awkward spot, like entering team members’ hotel or dorm rooms on a trip unless it’s an “extraordinary circumstance,” and even then, only when accompanied by another adult, says Trenerry.

If a coach has to meet with an athlete one-on-one to give feedback or discuss performance, that should be done in a public place, he says.

These types of precautions “hopefully create a culture and environment that keeps the athlete safe,” he says. “There’s no misunderstandings. And it’s not welcoming to people who would perpetrate crimes.”

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